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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Love Letter, Month 41

Dear Kate,

You are 41 months old today and I think the world has turned on its axis because you took a nap today, for the first time in many, many months. And then you went to bed early tonight, falling asleep before songs were finished. I'm completely verklempt. Verklempt I say! (And that rarely happens so count yourself lucky.)
Was it our trip to the chiropractor today? The tart cherry concentrate we started again? Or just sheer exhaustion from trying to hold yourself together?

Although you are still quite contrary I have noticed an infintessimal improvement in your overall behavior this month. Yes, you are still difficult with transitions, getting dressed, and clingy behavior, but it is still better than last month. 
Part of the reason for the improvement must be that we got you off the steroids. Your coughing subsided after round 2 of treatment and has, fortunately, not returned. Your last nebulizer treatment was right before I left for Houston (much to Nana's relief).
Speaking of Nana, she was here for 2 weeks and you were over the moon at her arrival.
She provided another person to give you the much-needed attention and cuddles that you desperately crave these days.
There have been some surprises in your choice of loveys lately. Bedtime Kitty, once never far from your lips or arms, has now been relegated to sleeping with the other stuffed animals on the hope chest. Daddy was not yet informed of your allegiance shift from Bedtime Kitty to Other Baby With Hair when he was singing the Bedtime Kitty song to you one night:

Kate: I don’t play with her anymore. Maybe we should give her to another baby to play with.
Daddy: Really???!
Kate: Well…maybe instead, I could give it to Other Baby With Hair to play with. That’s like giving it to another baby, isn’t it?

Daddy: Sure it is. I’ll bet Other Baby With Hair would be really happy about that.

Your neatness bent continues, much to my delight. Although you make quite a mess of your room when you are playing, I will come in after naptime to find your bed made, pillow fluffed and your lamby hanging on the end of your bed to air out. At night, you will pick up all your toys and put them back in all the bins without much prodding from me. You don't like to tuck in for the night without everything in your room in its proper place. You aren't as concerned about picking up the toys in the living room however.

Baby steps.
We've had some adventures this month, despite my weeklong absence to Houston. We went out for brunch one Saturday, just the two of us.
We also finished up our cooking class which you have really enjoyed.

We spent Memorial Day at the local Conservatory with some of your friends.

We got to spend a beautiful day exploring a new place, Northerly Island, and participating in a kid's fair. Although the scenery did not do as much for you as it did for me, you were rather enthralled with the snakes and the marshmellows.


We finished up our ballet class this month. You seemed to enjoy it more than Lucy did, studying the proper form for your feet and walking on your toes just so.
 But the twirling was your favorite part.

If only getting you there had not been a battle. Oh the angst when putting on your tights...

They don't feel good!

or putting on your leotard...

I don't want to wear this today!

or leaving the house...

I never want to leave the house ever again!

or putting on your ballet slippers...

These are too tight!!

Sigh.

We had some fun at Midsommarfest, the annual street festival in our neighborhood. You chose this design out of the book of face painting options.
Actually, this is a highly modified version of the blue paint on the model who essentially had an aquarium on her face.

You were feeling quite adventurous and stood in line for 15 minutes in order to climb the inflatable rock wall.
 And you led the way, twice, to slide down an enormous inflatable slide with your sister.
It seems that anything very physical has been your preferred modis operandi this month. Maybe it's because you feel so out-of-control yourself.



Our butterflies finally decided to emerge much to your delight.
 The weather finally cooperated enough so that we could set them free.
The positive outcome of raising butterflies has been your noticeable lessening of fear around bugs. You used to scream bloody murder over gnats (GNATS!) and now you are letting butterflies land on your arm.

And finally, I can't sign off without documenting some of the funny things you've said this month:

Kate: I’m full.
Lucy: Can I have it?
Kate: That makes me hungrier!

Overheard as you were playing with your dolls:
This baby has to sleep in the cage with the door locked.

Hmmm. Let's hope DCFS doesn't get wind of that little gem.

Over dinner, Lucy launched into a long story about how, when she was a baby in China, she was eating dinner and decided she didn’t want to eat it. So she threw the food on the floor and her birth mama said, “no, no, no” and her birth daddy said, “no, no, no.” But she did it anyway.

You interjected and said, “I really don’t believe that’s true, do you Daddy?"

To Daddy's credit, he supressed his laugh and answered, "This is Lucy's story, not yours."

One night as I was singing to you and Lucy, you said, 
I like your voice when you sing. When I grow up I want to be a mama just like you so I can have a voice like you.
My sweet, sweet girl. I love you more than you can possibly fathom. I know you are going through a really rough time, figuring out how to be independent yet yearning to stay "safe and happy with mama" as you have said on many occasions. Growing up is hard. And sometimes you will fail, fall, get hurt. But I can already tell that you are going to be ok...better than ok, because you always say, "I want to try it again" everytime you fail or fall or get hurt.

You amaze me and make me want to be a better mama for you.

Love,
Mama

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Oh Lisa another beautiful letter. Your girls will cherish these when they are older. The way you capture and record who they are is priceless. I so hope that one day I get to borrow this idea from you and use it myself. How the girls are growing and changing makes me wish they could stay little like this forever! You lead such a busy life. I am always amazed by how much the girls do!
Take care,
Elizabeth

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