Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Her glass is half empty

As intimated in yesterday's post, Kate has been having a rough go of it (and subsequently has been making me quite miserable). I really don't know what to make of it...or her. She seems determined to find something, ANYTHING, to be upset about. ALL. THE. TIME.

Monday she worked herself up so much that she managed to bite Dr. Boyd and came away with no mouth jewelry yet again. Her gag reflex is pretty strong (thanks Nana--she inherited that one from you) and combined with her general discontent with life, well, it made for a pretty awful morning at the dentist.

Yesterday was just another in an interminable string of bad days she's been having. It started as soon as I picked her up from school...

Kate: "I don't like what you packed me for lunch. You KNOW I don't like tomatoes or quiche."
(Neither of which is true but that apparently wasn't the point.)
Lisa: "Hi Kate, it's lovely to see you too. I missed your sunny personality."

Har har har. How old until they understand sarcasm?

As usual, they both fell asleep in the car on the way home but only stayed asleep long enough to be grumpy but too awake to take a nap at home.

If you choose to watch this, keep in mind that I have spared you the other HOUR of her whining.
Unhappy from Lisa on Vimeo.

I couldn't fathom the idea of staying cooped up inside with her so I threw them in the stroller and we headed to the park. She was much more pleasant after some exercise and fresh air. Lucky for them, the ice cream guy showed up so we got watermelon popsicles (50 degrees is warm enough for popsicles, right?).
After some more play (Lucy was literally shivering by the time she finished her treat so some running around was in order to warm up) we loaded back up in the stroller to head home. They spent a good bit of the time cuddled up and singing songs in Chinese to each other.

It's a damn good thing there are moments like these because the whining, oh god the whining!


Aaron and Tori Swank said...

Maybe it is something to do with being 4? We have quite a bit of whining around here at times, too. I recently read the book, "Boundaries with Kids" and thought it was a great parenting book. I like the advice to say something like, "You are in charge of your attitude. You can choose to have that attitude, but you'll need to have it in your room where the rest of us can't hear it."
"I'm sorry you don't like tomatoes and quiche today. You don't have to like it, however. You can choose not to eat it, but you won't have any other options until dinner. If you choose to eat it now, you may have .... with the rest of us when you are done."
Actually - if my 4 year old says she doesn't like something like that the consequence could be more added to her plate. And she will get the same plate, only cold, for dinner. Eventually she eats it. I make sure she understands it is her choice. She can eat it now, warm, with the rest of us, or cold later. Sometimes she even tells me, "I want to save this for breakfast." And she does. And eats it then.
Anyway... you are not alone. I think it has something to do with being 4 and wanting to control the home.
Another mom told me to kindly say, "You are not in charge. I am in charge."
Those two sentences have been invaluable!

ashley said...

we have a lot of that going on here too. I've found this description of whining helpful:
4 year olds have big expectations and desires. Whining serves as a desperate plea for something yet also expresses the feeling of powerlessness that crying or talking doesn't.
At least for us, her feeling of powerlessness is a big trigger. Also being hungry or tired.
hang in there, they sure are cuties!


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